Just a Dream
by atlovingyouhurtsmost
Summary: Clary feeling alone and depressed and who happens to appear, her brother Sebastian. Battling the guilt leaving Jace and now of cheating on him with her brother. Clary makes it her duty to find Jace in one piece even if he will no longer love her. It doesn't take place at a certain time in the books but it is when Jace is still missing. And it has a lot of Clary/Sebestian!
1. Chapter 1

Since Jace has disappeared, I have been sleeping dreamless nights. At first I had nightmares and Simon would sit at my bed side warding them off but now I had moved on past that phase. Him and Izzy were doing their own thing and there was no need for me to get in between them. I had already cost him so much sadness and he deserved someone who could love him back.

_I am seating on the bank of a small river. On my side of the river there is a meadow with all types of flowers. Daisies, tulips, buttercups, violets, it's a beautiful never ending collage. The water a cool refreshing blue, it dances as it flows steady. The wind blows warmly across my skin and there is a small bird singing somewhere in the trees across from me. _

"Hey Clary." A voice spoke in my ear. I turn around and come face to face with my brother. I mean Sebastian. I feel a flash of hate run through my body and I want to push him away. As if he knows what I am thinking he smirks and backs away. "Do you know why I brought you here?"

"Get out of my dream!" I spit through clenched teeth. He looks at me his eyes sparkling in amusement. "You have no right to be here."

"But Clary, I made this." He mockingly says. "You can't make me leave if I don't want to."

"You are a everything I despise." I stand up, even if I can't make him leave there is no reason I have to speak with him. I turn towards the meadow and start making my way though. I don't care where I am going just to be away from him.

"Nonono." And he appears in front of me and before I can stop I crash right into his chest. It's solid and made of muscle. So familiar. I step back and scowl at him.

"I hate you."

"No you hate our father. But I am not him."

"You are exactly like him!" I want to hurt him but even though this is a dream it doesn't mean I can't die. Sebastian brushes away my hair from mu face and I flinch back. He steps closer and I notice how the light hits his pale blond hair making it appear silver.

"Clary you are exactly like me." I shake my head no. He reaches for my face and this time I don't move. "It's just a dream, nothing but a dream."

Because it's a dream, I don't pull away when his lips touch mine. Instead I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him closer.

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	2. Chapter 2

His lips were so soft and moved in perfect sync with mine. His arms snaked around my back and held me. My mind was telling me no but I didn't listen. It has been so long since someone held me close. Sebastian pull away with a twinkle in his eye and I break I look away, aware of the color rising in my cheeks.

"Why don't you just be with me?" He asks. I want to push him away. How dare he? How dare he make me forget even if it was only for a minute. Jace, the love of my life the one who could make me smile no matter what. The one who I unconditionally loved.

"I am sorry, this was a mistake." I am still in his arms and I try to step back but it's like trying to move a stone wall.

"Aww come on, it didn't feel like a mistake."

"Let me go, Sebastian!" He loosens his arms and I almost face plant. I glare at him. "Stop ruining my life. I hate everything about you."

Instead of answering he just throws his head back and laughs. I resist walking up to him and punching the fuck out of him. One because it would probably hurt me more and two I wasn't sure if I could stand to be close to him. I did the next best thing, I turned my back towards him and started walking back to the beach. But I never made it because before I could take another step, I was back in my bed. My sheets were cold like I really hadn't been sleeping.

The images of the dream run through my mind over and over again. How warm Sebastian felt, how soft his lips were, how arms were wrapped around me. Over and over again. Sleeping now is out of the picture, I need to clear my mind and think straight. I needed to find where Jace was not focus on chasing away Sebastian. _Jace._ Think Jace.

* * *

"Clary what are you doing here?" I open my eyes to find my mom looking down at me. Her hair was messy and her face looked tired and aged. I raise my head from the dining room table, my cup of tea is sitting on the counter untouched.

"I couldn't sleep, so I was going to make some tea." I mumble as I stand up.

"Well it's good that you got some sleep whatsoever." She kisses me on the cheek and gives me a small side hug. "Simon said there is another meeting to propose a different approach to find Jace. I can come with you to the institution."

Even though she offers to come, I know that it wouldn't be good for her. She is dealing with too much guilt and the meeting could be her tipping point. The meeting about Jace. Could I walk in there and act like everything was going to be okay? Like Sebastian wasn't trying to ruin things again? I exhale deeply and my mom rubs my arm. She probably thinks that talking about Jace is going to be hard but she doesn't know how hard.

"I have to go get ready mom." She nods and motions for me to go on. I give her a small smile hoping that it wasn't as empty as I felt.


End file.
